just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
