Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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