My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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