How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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