I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
