whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is the high leading the old right now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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