We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
