Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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