Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
