you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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