apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
