she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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