If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
