I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
