I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am spending my child support on dildos
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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