pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You have to summon your inner elephant
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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