And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
zippers are such a cool invention
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
