When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
