I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
