I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
