i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Farmville is her only friend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
