I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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