It's Friday. Sex?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Holy sore nipples Batman
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
