True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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