Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
