My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
