everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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