Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
