with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
