Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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