i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
