First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
