Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
