i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
