Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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