I didn't shave. On purpose
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
