I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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