Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
