If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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