I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
