1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize