Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize