maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
