The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's shark week go big or go home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
