I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
