My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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