I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the liver wants what the liver wants
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
