Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
