New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
