hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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