that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize