He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You pole danced in your parka.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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