Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
