my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Alive.
So much puke
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
