ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
