i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
