I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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